5 Things (January Edition)

Nothing much is happening to my life. It suckz! But it's always like that every January. I kinda like it.

1. Doctor said I need to have my butt hole inserted with a camera. Of course I have to start with health. This is so me. Anyhow, this month had my bloods checked and my blood count went back to normal thanks to iron supplements. Then, I went back to my internist so she can guide me in investigating my health. Funny thing is she said I might have IBS, which is what I also think I have but instead of saying Irritable Bowel Syndrome, she said IBS stands for Inflammatory bowel syndrome. Uhhh doc, don't you mean Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) which is totally different from IBS? But anyhow...went back to my GI specialist and he said "well, my dear, I've checked all there is to check and after six months you are still beautiful. However, I'm concerned of your diarrhea because you had anemia. We have to do the next step." I said, okay doc, I'm ready for an endoscopy (camera in stomach). But he said, let's do both endoscopy and colonoscopy (camera in large instenstive, via my butthole). NOOOOO! I will do endoscopy. Will not do colonoscopy even if it kills me.

2.  I'm bummed with Nick and Chai duties. Our documentary is done but we still have too many things to do and it's such a bummer. I hate it when a project is done but there are still so many requirements to finish and shit. The motivation's gone. Our sales agent wants a million things from us (2 versions in 2 hard drives, 100 DVD screeners, posters, paperwork, etc etc). I want to get busy on a new endeavor.

3. Self-studying docu filmmaking. Been reading a good book about documentary filmmaking, watching award-winning docus with boring storylines just to find out how they pull off boring stuff, and...recently applied to a 2-week creative docu workshop in Cambodia (crossing fingers so hard they're turning blue).

4. Entrepreneurship attempts V54.0. I think everybody knows me as the girl with too many ideas but with close to zero execution. That's not something I'm proud of. People, even especially your closest friends and family, start to know how things will end (or not begin) and they listen to you but with close to zero enthusiasm and you can hear almost hear how they psyche themselves "pay attention, pay attention. This is interesting." but their attention eventually wanes. You cannot blame them! They've seen you get too excited one day only to say "what was I thinking?" the next day. So you see? I am the problem. I need to really nail something in the money-making department. Seriously! I hope something good happens soon. I'm trying my best.

5. Friendship expectations evaluation time. 

"Why should I be the first one to text?"
"Why isn't she replying?"
" Why does she demand a reply?!"
" She doesn't care. So why should I care?"
" She needs distance. FINE! I'll give her that."
" She's hanging out with new people. I'll hang out with new people. That's the healthy way to do it."
" She's spending way too much time with her boyfriend."
" I have a kid. Why can't they be considerate?"
" Sure, she's got a kid. Does that have to change everything?!"
"I'll show you!"
"I'LL SHOW YOU!!!" *smiles

Ah.It's not like FRIENDS or WILL & GRACE or BIG BANG or SEX & THE CITY, after all. We love those shows because they fulfill our fantasy of "friends forever." Friendship entering thirties is more like...SURVIVOR. You do your shit to win the game but it also helps if you have friends. In other words, friendship is secondary. There's career, there's boyfriend/fiancee/husband, there's kid/s, there's the bucket list, there's other people, there's spirituality, grocery shopping, TV shows...and then there's friends. Friendship is always last except on certain occasions.