I’ve been focusing on the importance of community for the past five or so months now. Probably because now that I’m much much older( dyos espiritu santo), I miss my life in the province. there I said it. lahi ra gyud sa probinsya…and it’s a better place for a lady with a family as much as I hate to say it out loud. In Manila, as you get older, the strain caused by daily city traffic and long lines for FX (van) rides cannot be cured by hot bath and tea. And people are less friendly. And it makes me want to scream when I see old people locked up in their badly ventilated living rooms watching cable TV all day long. They make me so fuckin depressed! I don’t want to watch TV all day when I’m old that’s for sure. I’d want to at least be gossiping with my neighbor while we weed out our gardens.
But rwhat I don’t love about living in a lazy town is that it gets boring fast especially when you’re still in the phase of your life where you crave opportunities whether it’s to land a good job, make a career you can be proud of, meet an awesome guy, or hmmm…watch a good movie in the cinema.
Right now, relocating to the province I grew up in seems to me like I’ve given up completely. It’s like I plastered a note on my forehead that says “tried but failed”. It’s like there’s nothing out there and I’m just curling back to my mother’s womb. After studying in the most prestigious university in the Philippines, it’s just not right to go back just yet.
But there’s no rush. There’s no dillema, actually. I’m just going to go back and forth maybe twice a year so We would have a community there (with cousins and plenty of titas) and a community here (yet to be developed). The city gives me hope that anything could happen while the province gives me simple pleasures. So there you go. More trips then. This setup is The Setup until I get tired of it. i just booked a ticket to Cebu (for me and Marion. yes, first trip together without Hugo or nanny so help me God) to visit my noveau rich auntie who I haven’t seen since I gave birth to Marion 5 years ago. She was strict then (still is) and I was very broke then and acted like any angsty 21-year-old who got knocked up. I want Her to meet Marion and I want Marion to experience what it’s like to visit her house thats adorned with lovely Christmas decors from the living room to the garden. Then, we will ride a boat to Palompon because it’s my Mommy V’s 50th birthday. I wonder how we’re supposed to celebrate it given the town’s current situation (no electricity, wrecked houses caused by The Super Typhoon). But I have a feeling it’s going to be warm and fuzzy. Yeah that’s what I miss most. The warmth and fuzziness of a small town.
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